Forever and Always
by Car0lin3
Summary: This story happens right after Bella jumps off the cliff in New Moon. She kind-of chooses Jacob, so what happens when Edward comes back? Rated T just to be safe. Disclaimer-it isn't mine
1. Chapter 1

Prologue:

I was still broken. Even though I was beginning to heal, all I could think about was _him_. I can't even think his name without feeling like I'm falling apart-and Jacob is the only one who can put me together again.

Chapter 1:

Jacob drove up to my empty house after my cliff diving episode. (Charlie, of course, was at the hospital with Harry. I was still inwardly cursing my stupidity. What was I thinking? What was hearing _his _voice going to do accept cause me more pain?

Just then, Jake cut the engine and came to open the door for me. _I thought he would of Harry, but then he spoke, his tone was apologetic. "Sorry. I know you don't feel exactly the way I do, Bells. I swear I don't mind. I'm just so glad you're okay that I could sing-and that's something no one wants to hear." He laughed his throaty laugh in my ear._

_My breathing kicked up a notch, sanding the walls of my throat. _

_Wouldn't Edward, indifferent as he might be, want me to be as happy as was possible under the circumstances? Wouldn't enough friendly emotion linger for him to want that much for me? I thought he would. He wouldn't begrudge me this: giving just a small bit of the love he didn't want to my friend Jacob. After all, it wasn't the same love at all._

_Jake pressed his warm cheek against the top of my hair. _

_If I turned y face to the side- if I pressed my lips against his bare shoulder… I knew without any doubt exactly what would follow. It would be very easy. There would be no need for explanations tonight._

_But could I do it? Could I betray my absent heart to save my pathetic life? _

With butterflies in my stomach, I turned my face and kissed him lightly on the shoulder. First he froze. Then he looked at me in amazement.

"Bella?" he asked, "Are you sure?"

I just looked deeper into his eyes and saw his resolve form in them. As he slowly bent his face to mine, his eyes still questioning, I stared back; hardily knowing if this was what I really wanted. I stood on tip-toe reaching towards him, wrapping my arms around his neck. At first his lips were hesitant against mine, but as he realized I wasn't going to push him away, the kiss grew more demanding and passionate. He pulled me tighter, uncomfortably so, but still not quite tight enough. His lips left mine only briefly and he murmured my name. When it was over, neither of us said a word. He just picked me up and carried me to my room.

For the first night in months, I didn't think about Edward, and I didn't wake up screaming. For the first time since Edward left, I felt happy, whole. Here, with Jacob's arms around me, I knew who would really love me forever.

Chapter 2:

When Charlie came home, he must've thought I was asleep because he never came to check on me. That morning Jake and I kissed over and over by my window before he finally had to leave through it. I sat on me bed, hugging my knees to my chest and staring out the window, thinking about my night with Jacob.

When I had meet Edward it had been a physical and emotional pain not to be with him. I couldn't _not_ love him. He gave me a choice, but I knew I didn't really have any other option. At the time, I'll admit, I didn't want any options. Iwas more than happy to love him with everything I had. Unfortunately, that hadn't been enough to keep him here. He left, knowing that I loved him. He walked away from me after telling me countless times that he loved me. Maybe he had, but either that love had gone away, or just like my love for him, it wasn't enough. I understood, really, why he left. There had never been anything about me to hold him here. I had always known that. Suddenly, a flash of something flame-red on the edge of the woods caught my attention and interrupted my reverie.

Chapter 3:

It was so fast I almost wasn't sure I'd seen it. I had only seen hair that color on one person: Victoria. For a second, I was paralyzed with fear, unable to even unwind my arms from around my legs. My first thought was of Jacob. Should I go downstairs and call Billy? What if Victoria was downstairs? What if it had really been nothing, just a trick to the light now pouring through my window? Eventually, I realized I couldn't just sit there waiting for Victoria to find me. I slowly untangled myself and got off the bed, cursing as the bed squeaked. Even though I knew it was pointless, I crept as quietly as I could (trying not to trip) down the stairs to the phone. When my shaking fingers had finally dialed the number, Billy answered on the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Billy, it's me, Bella. Is Jacob there?" I couldn't keep from asking even though I knew he wouldn't have had time to get there yet.

"No," Billy answered, "Is something wrong?" I had tried to control my voice so Billy wouldn't suspect anything, but I must not have been doing as good as I thought.

Instead of answering his question I just said, "I need you to contact any member of the pack you can and tell them to get over here immediately. Billy must have gathered from my tone that I didn't want to tell him what was going on because he didn't ask.

Instead he answered, "Um, sure Bella. Anything else I can do for you?"

"No, thanks Billy, bye,"

Even though I knew it was rude, I hung up on Billy and went to wait in the living room for a pack member to arrive. After about twenty minutes that seemed like twenty years, Sam walked in. I had never really liked Sam, but now I was happy to see him. While he listened, I quickly filled him in on what I had seen.

For a long time after I finished he just stood there, deep in thought. Finally he suggested that I go to his and Emily's cottage while he called the rest of the pack to meet me there. Slightly cheered at the thought of seeing Jacob, I agreed. While Sam went to the woods near my house to phase, I walked to my truck and headed to their cottage.

As I pulled into the cottage, I saw Jared walking through the door, and Jacob leaning against a tree, his face a mask of worry. As soon as I awkwardly climbed out of the truck he was there, with his arms around me.

"Are you alright?" he asked me.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said.

When we were inside everyone was already crammed into the tiny kitchen waiting for us.

"So," said Sam, breaking the silence, "We are going to setup a twenty four hour watch around Bella because Victoria is obviously getting closer to her, despite us patrolling the forest. One of us will always be near her."

After this I let my mind wander away from the conversation. I knew it was all for my safety, but I couldn't help it. I still didn't know if I really loved Jacob. All through my reverie, I couldn't get rid of the nagging question, what if Edward comes back? First I told myself not to be stupid. He had left me after all, not the other way around. He was the one who told me he didn't love me anymore. Then my thoughts became rebellious. So what if he did come back? If he hadn't left I never would have had these thoughts about Jacob. I would never be considering if I loved someone besides him. Just then, Jacob interrupted my reverie by asking if I wanted him to drive me home. Happy to have more time alone with Jacob I accepted. On the way home, we drove in comfortable silence until he pulled up to my house. Then he asked me, "Bella, do you love me now, or do you still love him?"

The question was so unexpected that it took me a minute to answer. When I could I spoke quietly and looked at my hands instead of at Jacob. "I've been thinking about that a lot Jacob, and I haven't decided." I wanted to answer as truthfully as I could. "On the one hand, I don't think I'm ready to let go of Edward. But on the other hand, you've been here for me when he chose not to be. I don't know Jake; I still need some time if that's okay. What made you ask so suddenly?"

The whole time I was speaking, his face had stayed in the same unfathomable expression and I wasn't sure how my words affected him. Without answering my question, or saying anything at all, he came to open my door. After I climbed out or the truck, we walked hand in hand towards my house. I was just about to open the door, when I saw Jacob's expression. It was no longer the smooth and unreadable mask, it was now a mixture of fear and disgust and anger. Before I could ask him what was wrong, he opened the door. There sitting, on my couch with an expression that went form guilt to anger in a second, was Edward.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi everybody!! First I want to say thank you to every one who had read/reviewed my story. I am SO, SO, SO sorry I haven't updated sooner, but I broke my arm and then I was grounded and then my neighbor died and its been one thing after another and it has been absolutely awful. So here is some more of my story, I hope you like it, and now that it is Summer hopefully things will slow down and I will be able to update MUCH sooner!!**

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Chapter 4: Two Paths

I was stunned. I could barely move my lips enough to ask uncertainly, "Edward?"

"Hello Bella." He said in his musical voice.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded. I knew that my tone and question were rude, but I couldn't help it. First he broke my heart by leaving, and then just as things were starting to finally get better, he came back. And now he won't even look at me because he is to bust staring at Jacob with more hate on his face that I had ever seen. His expression truly frightened me. That's when I noticed that Jacob was shaking all over. I put my hand lightly on his arm and said, "Calm down Jacob, it's going to be okay." Under my touch, the tremors rolling off his body in waves began to slow until only his hands trembled. Then he raised his head and glared at Edward with just as much hate on his face. When I was sure he wasn't going to explode into a giant wolf in the middle of my living room, I turned back to Edward.

"What do you want?" I asked rudely. Finally he turned to look at me and his face returned to it's previous mask of guilt.

"Can I speak with you privately?" he asked. As he spoke his eyes flicked to Jacob and back to me.

Jacob started to speak, but I cut him off. I sighed and nodded, knowing that as long as he was here, I might as well get this conversation over with. Then I looked back at Jacob.

"Why don't you wait in the kitchen?"

He looked slightly happier that I hadn't asked him to leave the house, and walked into the kitchen with only a parting glare in Edward's direction. I watched him leave then turned slowly back to Edward. At first, there was only a deep silence. I waited for him to speak, refusing to break it. When he finally did, he was so sincere I couldn't doubt his words, even in the slightest.

"Bella, I came here to beg you to forgive me. When I left and told you I didn't want you, it was the blackest kind of blasphemy. I love you Bella, I never stopped. The only reason I ever left was to protect you. I couldn't stand to see you killed because of what I am. I was fighting hour by hour to stay away from you. I told myself that I couldn't come back and put you in danger again, but I lost the strength to stay away. I can't do it anymore Bella. Without you, I was lost. I couldn't do anything, or be around anyone, not even my family, especially not them. I love you Bella, I never stopped. If you want, I'll gladly grovel on my knees if that will make you take me back. I can't even begin to describe the guilt and anguish I feel. Please Bella, I love you."

While he spoke I saw the two paths laid out before me. Jacob or Edward, Edward or Jacob. I knew whoever I chose now, there would be no going back.

I had a choice to make, and whatever way I went I could see no way to win. Either way, I would end up breaking someone's heart, and possibly my own. What should I do? One thing I did know, I couldn't think properly with Edward waiting on my couch and Jacob waiting in the kitchen.

"Jacob," I called, "Can you come here for a sec?"

When he appeared, Edward stood up, and I turned slightly so I could face them both.

"I need to think." I said, "Come back in two hours, I can't give you an answer just now, but then I will. I need to think," I said again. Both boys started to speak, but again I cut them off. "Please", I said, "I just need some time to sort this out." They stared at me for a minute more then Jacob, followed by Edward, turned to leave. As he closed the door, Edward turned to look at me one last time.

After they had left, for a long time all I could do was stand there and cry. Why, why did this have to happen? I wished I'd never met Jacob. I wished I'd never bought the motorcycles and brought them to him that day. I wish he had not been the one to teach me that there are second chances, even in love. The question now was, could I give that same second chance to Edward? Could I stand to risk my heart like that again? Did I want to? Was it worth it? Somehow, while I was thinking all this, I couldn't bring myself to wish I'd never met Edward. Jacob or Edward, Edward of Jacob? I sat down on my couch, no longer crying really, only a few stray tears made their way down my cheeks, and thought about which road I should take.


	3. Chapter 3

Edward's POV

Prologue:

It was agony trying to stay away from her, my Bella. I had told her I didn't love her, that I didn't want her. It was all lies, and I hated myself more than I ever had for telling them. I still remember, of course, with perfect clarity the look in her eyes when I uttered those words. I could still here the echo of her voice when I walked away from her. When I kissed her for the last time on the forehead, wanting so much to throw myself at her feet and beg for her forgiveness. I was in South America, hunting down Victoria, trying uselessly to keep her off my mind. Before I knew what I was doing, I was headed north.

Chapter 6:

As soon as I began to run north, Alice called. She was aware of my decision before I was. I didn't answer the phone when it began to ring. I just kept running. Eventually, I decided that I should fly. I wasn't tracking anymore; the scent had gone cold days ago. If I was honest with myself, I knew I wasn't any good at it. Tracking Victoria, I snarled inwardly as I thought the name, had only been a sad attempt at a distraction. It never worked. Of course, some days were worse than others. Some days all I could do was curl up in a ball lost in my memories of Bella. It was ironic, really, that was really my most powerful weapon against others was now destroying me. Locked inside my mind, it had been all I could do not to give in and go to Bella and beg her to take me back. That was of course the very thing I was doing now.

I had finally reached the airport and I bought first class tickets to Seattle. I didn't really care about being waited on; I just couldn't stand the thought of being crammed into a small space with all those people. I had hunted just yesterday, but if I couldn't be with my Bella, I didn't want to be with anyone if I could possibly help it.

When the flight attendant came by, I told her I wanted to sleep and to please see that I wasn't disturbed. In her thoughts she was immediately concerned, and she promised me I would be left to sleep. I closed my eyes and replayed every precious moment I'd ever had with Bella. The day in the meadow, our first kiss, the feel of my arms around her small waist. Even her scent would have welcome, just to have some small part of her back.

Then I started worrying. Would she take me back? What if she had moved on as I told her to? Could I stand it? The thought of her in another's arm's, someone else causing that adorable blush, was almost too much to bear? What if I had hurt her so badly she couldn't love me anymore? Just then the plane landed and I "woke up" and a few minutes later I was off the plane and running.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 7:

When I reached Bella's house it was empty. I debated if I should come back later, wait here for her, or if I should wait inside for her. I decided on the last option. I wanted the chance to at least talk to her, so I didn't want her to see me and just keep driving if she was mad. I also just didn't like the idea of leaving just yet. It didn't seem right, like giving up before I'd really started. So, using the key under the eve, I entered the house.

Once I got inside I stopped. I had never thought I would be here again. When I hid her things that night, childishly, under her floorboards I had sworn to myself I would never come here again. If I was honest, I knew I had never really believed I would keep this promise. But I would have told myself I was only checking on her. Making sure she had kept her promise even though I had not. I sat on her couch as I had done dozens of times before. I thought about what I would say when she got here. Suddenly, I wasn't sure I should have stayed and waited for her. How would I explain my sudden appearance in her house? What would she think when she walked in that door and saw me here. Before I could wonder anymore, in she walked with a boy I recognized as one of the Qualities tribe. I must have been more wrapped up in my thoughts that I thought to not have heard them come in. The surprise of this prevented me from standing up.

Then I fully looked at the boy, and realized this was no mere boy; this was a werewolf. Immediately, my loathing for the dogs overshadowed my need to drink in every of Bella. I glared at him while he struggled to remain in control of himself. In his mind, I could read the war going on, he was fighting on staying in control because he didn't want to hurt Bella, but he wanted so desperately to hurt me. The possessive edge to his thoughts only made me hate him more. He thought of Bella as his. When I read this in his mind, my vision took on a red tone because of the depth of my anger. I would have attacked him then if Bella hadn't laid her hand on his arm and said something to calm him down. I was still so furious that I couldn't hear what she said. Slowly, he regained control of himself and he glared back at me with loathing. He looked almost as mad as me as I felt towards him. Then Bella turned to face me.

"What do you want?" she asked me.

I could tell immediately that I was in trouble. She sounded so mad that I forgot all about the dog, and my guilt overwhelmed me. Maybe she saw this on my face, because the icy mask she wore softened a little before freezing again. I knew I couldn't trust myself to say what needed to be said in front of the dog, so I looked her in the face again.

"Can I speak with you privately?" I saw that the dog was going to object, but Bella sighed and nodded. She turned away from me and looked at the mongrel.

"Why don't you wait in the kitchen?" The mutt was slightly happier because she hadn't told him to leave to leave the house altogether. Stopping only to send me a parting glare, he left. Bella watched him go, then turned and faced me again. She didn't say anything so I had to be the one to break the silence.

"Bella, I came here to beg you to forgive me. When I left and told you I didn't want you, it was the blackest kind of blasphemy. I love you Bella, I never stopped. Without you, I was lost. I couldn't do anything or be with anyone, even my family, especially my family. I love you Bella, I never stopped. If you want, I'll gladly grovel on my knees if that will make you take me back. I can't even begin to describe the guilt and anguish I feel. Please Bella, I love you."

While I spoke, I could see she believed me, but I could also see that she was warring with herself about something. As I watched I could she had decided something, but there was still a much bigger struggle going on inside her. Before I could ask her anything, she turned and called to the dog.

"Jacob, can you come here for a sec?"

The dog walked out of the kitchen and I stood up. Then Bella turned to face both of us. I couldn't read her expression, but I couldn't deny the growing in my heart. I needed her to say that she loved me. To tell the mongrel that she hated him, that I was the only one for her. Unfortunately, that's not what she said. She told us she needed time to think. To "sort it all out", I wanted to scream at her, No! You are supposed to know! You are supposed to choose me! But I couldn't because before I could say any thing she shook her head and wouldn't allow either of us to speak. She waited as we did the only thing we could, we left as she had asked us to do. As I closed the door, I glanced back at her one more time trying to tell her that I loved her, and then shut the door. When I turned around the mongrel was already gone. Now I had two hours to wait. Two hours? What could possibly take that long? I decided that I would run up to the meadow where I had taken Bella that day. Running felt good. It helped me to clear my mind and when I reached the meadow, I once again drowned myself in memories.

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**There. I hope that keeps you happy for about a week. I will be gone on vacation starting Friday, and I won't be able to update at all, so I will hopefully add up to chapter 13 done. If I do, I can put all of that on before I go and maybe that will keep you busy until I get back. Hope you liked it!!-Silly Milly**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 8: Jacob's POV

I was scared still scared to death. Bella had gone cliff diving without me in a storm. What was she thinking? Was she trying to kill herself? Had he hurt her that badly? All I knew was that if I ever saw that leach again, I would kill him in the most painful way I could imagine. He was going to pay. Just them I drove up to Bella's house and came to open the door for her. Once she climbed out, I threw my arm around her shoulder. I knew she didn't feel the way I did, but I was just so happy she was alive. Why had she been so stupid? We stopped outside her house and hugged. Neither one of us said anything. We just took comfort in each other. Suddenly, she turned her face and kissed me as lightly as a feather on my shoulder. I couldn't believe it. Was she trying to tell me she had changed her mind? Was she so grateful that I had saved her that it had finally made her love me?

"Bella?" I asked her, "Are you sure?"

She didn't say anything; she just stared deep into my eyes. I leaned towards her and she put her arms around my neck. At first, when I kissed her, I was afraid she would push me away and say something about how she only wanted to be friends. She didn't, though, and the kiss grew more and more passionate. When I pulled away for a moment, I whispered her name. When the kiss ended I just picked her up and carried her to her room. That night was the best of my life. There, with Bella beside me, I knew that I would always love her.

Chapter 9: Still Jacob's POV

That morning Bella and I kissed several times before I finally had to leave through her window. When I did, I phased into wolf form and went for a run. Fortunately, none of the others were wolves so I didn't have to be careful what I thought about, which was good, because I didn't think it was possible for me to keep my thoughts away from my Bella. She had finally chosen me it seemed. That leach was no longer the one she loved. After last night I was sure that if he did come back one day, she would tell him that I was her man now. He had lost his chance. I still didn't understand how anyone Bella chose to give her love to could just walk away from that. How do you tell and angel you don't want her? I was smart enough to recognize what a wonderful person she was? How could anyone not see how special she was? Just them I became aware of another presence.

_Congrats. _Sam thought

_Thanks. _I thought back_, what's up? I _could tell from his thoughts that this was not just some morning run he was taking. He needed to talk to the pack.

_Yes. _Said Sam, in acknowledgement of my thoughts. Then he howled loudly, it was a call and an order. In few minutes I heard the other wolves come in and several voices asking what was up. As soon as everyone caught up to us, Sam ran his mind over his meeting with Bella. She had seen the red-head leach! At that moment she the only parasite I hated more that him. Then Sam interrupted my thoughts.

_We are meeting at the house to discuss strategy. Let's go._

When we got to the house, everyone else went in, but I decided to wait for Bella. I stood leaning against a tree, watching as she drove up in that decrepit truck of hers. As soon as she was out, I put my arms around her and hugged her closely.

"Are you alright?" She looked okay, but I wanted to be sure.

"Yeah," she said, "I'm fine."

I looked at her for a second, then grabbed her hand and we walked inside. Everyone was waiting for us so we sat down and Sam began the meeting. He decided we should set up a 24 hour patrol around Bella. Every so often I would glance over at her, but I could tell she wasn't really listening. She was thinking about something else, and it was obviously something important. Basically, we were sill going to patrol the woods, but we would take turns being around Bella, just in case. When the meeting was over I asked Bella would like for me to drive her home. She said yes, and we walked to her truck. On the way to her house, neither of us spoke; I could tell she was deep in thought so I didn't disturb her. Then I pulled into her driveway. No way, I thought, no way on Earth could the leach have shown up here. Why did he have to come now? Couldn't he have waited at least another hundred years or so to come back? Suddenly, I wasn't as sure as I had been about Bella choosing me. So I asked her.

"Bella, do you love me now or do you still love him?" I could tell that my question surprised her, and it took a minute before she answered/

"I've been thinking about that a lot Jake, and I haven't decided. On one hand, I don't think I'm ready to let go of Edward yet. But on the other hand, you've been here when for me when he chose not to be. I don't know Jake; I still need some time to think if that's okay."

It wasn't the definite answer I'd been hoping for, but it seemed that she was leaning towards me. That was good. I came to open her door and we walked up to her door and opened it. I was abruptly beyond furious. What right did that parasite have to come barging into her life again. He broke her heart by leaving, why had he bothered to come back. I hadn't realized how much I had been shaking until Bella put her hand on my arm and gently told me to come down. She said it was going to be okay. Did that mean that she was going to tell him to butt out? The disgusting leach asked to speak with her alone, and I started to say that he needed to get the heck out, but Bella sighed and nodded with a resigned look on her face. Then she turned to me.

"Why don't you wait in the kitchen?"

Well, that was slightly better, she wasn't sending me out of the house; she wasn't even asking me to go out of earshot. I left and as I did, I sent one last glare the leach's way. One I was in the kitchen I waited to hear what she would say. She didn't say anything, and the parasite was the first to break the silence that was so tense even I could feel it in here. He said some crap about still loving her and how when he told her he didn't want her it was "the blackest kind of blasphemy" I mean, really. How stupid can you get?! After he had finally finished I waited anxiously to hear what she would say. Would she fall for the lies? No, I told myself, she was smarter than that. Then I was surprised to hear her calling for me.

"Jake, can you come here for a sec?"

Uh oh, this was it. As I walked in, the leach stood up. Then she told us that she needed to think about it and to come back in a couple of hours. I wanted to scream at her that she shouldn't need to think about it. She should know that he was full of lies and that I was the one who really loved her. But then a little voice in my head said, what if he really loves her too? I argued with myself, if he loved her, he wouldn't have left her. Then I realized she was waiting for us to leave so I turned and walked out of the door, followed by the stinking parasite. I immediately turned for the woods to phase; I didn't even turn to see where the leach was going. I needed a run badly, and I now had two hours to kill. Just as I was getting ready to phase, I remembered that at least one of the pack was going to be wolf and I didn't want an audience to my thoughts. I decided to go over to my house and kill some time watching TV. I knew I wouldn't really watch it; I would be to busy thinking about Bella, but at least "watching" TV could be classified as doing something. It was probably better that what ever he was doing. I headed towards home, my thoughts full of Bella.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 9: Bella's POV

It had been almost two hours. I had spent the entire time thinking about which road to take. Edward had been the one I had said "I love you" to more times that I could count. His were the kisses that made me forget to breathe. He was the one it had hurt more than any thing to be away from, even for the shortest while. He was the one who had walked away from me. Could I trust that he wouldn't do that again? How could I know that if he had had the will to do what I never could have done, leave, how did I know he wouldn't do it again? He said he was sorry, that he hadn't really meant it. He said the reason he left was to protect me from what he was. He said he loved me. But did he, really?

Then there was Jacob. I knew he loved me. There was no question about that. The question there was, did I love him back? I knew that if I chose Edward, I would hurt him more than anyone could possibly hurt him physically. He had told me once that he was a fast healer, but could he heal from that. What if I did choose Jake? What would Edward do? I remembered, what seemed like forever ago, when we were watching Romeo and Juliet. He had said something about the Volturi. That if I were to die, he would go to them and ask to die. If I choose Jake now, would he go to them? Agony ripped its way through my chest as I thought of a world without Edward. My own personal world without him had been terrible enough, but _the_ world? How could I hurt either of them? I was divided. Part of me needed Edward, and part of me longed for Jacob. The question was, which need was greater? My two hours to think were up. I had made my choice. I knew that I hadn't really needed the two hours, I just wanted them. I had already known who I would choose. With the conviction of my choice in my heart, I went outside to wait for my two boys.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 11: Jacob's POV

When I got home my dad was still at the hospital with Harry. The house was empty, so I put in a Simpson's Rerun, trying to fill the silence of the empty house. Before it had really even started, I zoned out. What would I do if Bella didn't choose me? I knew I couldn't kill the leach, as much as I would want to, because one, that would hurt Bella; and two, that wouldn't make her choose me. In fact, she would probably hate me and never speak to me again if I did. Not that I could talk to her anyway if the leach was back. Still, that would be because I couldn't be around the stinking parasite, not because she didn't want to-I hoped.

If she did choose me, I wondered what the leach would do. Would he try to kill me? Somehow, I didn't think he would. If he tried to hurt Bella though, I would kill him. Surely she couldn't hate me for killing him in the process of trying to protect her? Why would she? I looked at the clock and realized I needed to get going. It was time.

Chapter 11: Bella's POV

They arrived at the exact same time. Both had the same expression on his face: angry, hopeful, and nervous. I knew that in just a minute I was going to hurt one of them very badly-there was no way for me to avoid it. I wanted to do it in the gentlest way possible, but I didn't know how. How could I soften this blow? If there was a way, I didn't see it. They were walking towards me and I stood up. This was it. They stopped at the same time; an equal distance from me. I would have found that funny, if the circumstances had been different. But they weren't, and in that moment I didn't think I would find anything funny ever again.

Both boys were waiting for me to speak. Jacob's Bella was screaming at me to run into his arms and to forget Edward. Edward's Bella was telling me to forget Jake and be with Edward. Even though I knew I could never forget either one of them, one of my halves was bigger, and she was screaming louder. That was the half of me I was going to go with.

"First," I said, "I want you to know that I love you both." Then the tears began to pour down my face. Edward and Jacob started forward, but I held up my hand to stop them.

"For this whole time, I've been thinking about both of you. When I told you earlier that I needed to think about this because I didn't know what to do, that was a lie. I'm sorry, but it was. I already knew who I would pick. I've sat on my couch trying to think of a way to do this so that nobody would go away with their heart broken, but I can't see how to do it. Part of me loves Jacob, and part of me loves Edward. But it's not an even divide; I love one of you more. The one that I pick today, when I tell you I love you, I mean it. But I also love the one that I won't pick. I'm sorry that I can only choose one of you. Believe me; if there was a way to be with you both, I would do it. There isn't though. There isn't a way that I can love you both. I hope that the one I don't choose can still be friends with me, but I understand if you can't."

Now the tears came harder, and for a moment I couldn't speak. I had to continue though. There were no more way I could say that I loved both of them. I had to tell them my choice.

"I'm sorry, I don't want to cause either of you pain, but I can't see a way around that." I had to stop again because I was now sobbing so hard it was absolutely impossible to keep going. When I regained control of myself, I had to finish the mess I'd started.

"Jacob, I'm sorry. You've always been there for me, always. I wish I'd never met you so that this wouldn't be happening. I know I'm hurting you, and that I'm being selfish. After everything you've done for me, I should be choosing you. I love you, but it's not enough. I'm so, so sorry Jacob, more than I can say."

I saw his expression, the pain in his eyes, and the absolute agony on his face, and I lost the small amount of control I'd had on myself. I started bawling so hard that I couldn't stand up; I sank to the ground and barely had time to see him take off at top speed to the woods, before I buried my head in my hands. After a moment or two, I felt a pair of strong, cold arms come around me and pick me up. I'd wanted for so long to be in Edward's arms again, but never like this. I'd imagined a reunion a thousand times, but there were never any tears in the daydreams; they had always been happy. He didn't say anything, just began running inside and up the stairs, and we got to my room, he laid me gently on the bed and let me cry. At that moment, that was what I needed most. I needed to stain his shirt with my tears, I needed to feel his arms around me and know I wasn't crying like this for nothing.

After that small part of me finally cried herself out, I looked at Edward. He was staring down at me, and I could see that my pain was causing him pain.

"I'm sorry." I said, my voice still horse from crying.

"Bella," he whispered brokenly, "Are you sure I'm really the right one for you? I've never seen you in so much pain…" He broke off then and I tried to reassure him that he was the one I really needed.

"Yes, Edward, I'm sure. And I've known worse pain," I told him gently, "You just weren't around to see it."

I could see that my answer had caused him pain. That was the opposite of what I was trying to do. First I hurt Jacob, and now Edward. Was there anyone I loved that I hadn't hurt? Was there anything I touched that wasn't spoiled? So I leaned my head against his chest, where his shirt was still wet with my tears, and wrapped my arms around him. He put his arms around me, put his cheek against my hair, and sighed.

"I love you, Bella Swan. I'm so sorry. I will never forgive myself for what I did to you. You should never have been hurt by having to choose between us. You defiantly shouldn't have been hurt because of me. This is all my fault, and I am more sorry than I can say. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?"

I could hear in his voice that he still didn't believe that he had been forgiven. How much would it take before he realized that I had forgiven him? How long would it take before he forgave himself?

"Edward," I said, "I forgave you a long time ago. If I couldn't forgive you, I would have chosen Jacob." When I said this, his arms tightened around me, and I snuggled closer to him. "Besides, there isn't really any thing to forgive. You left because you wanted to protect me. You need to stop feeling so guilty. I mean, I love you and you love me, I think, and that's all that matters, right?"

After I finished, he put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me away so he could look at me in the face. He looked furious.

"Isabella Marie Swan. Did you just say that you _think_ I love you? How can you doubt that I do with everything that I am?! Didn't I explain to you that I never stopped! Of course I love you!"

And after he said that, how could I doubt him after he spoke with such feeling? Inside I knew that he had never stopped. I smiled as I hadn't smiled since he left and I leaned back into him. He wrapped his arms his arms around me again, hugging me tightly. We stayed like that for a long time, then he put a finger under my chin and lifted my face to his. The kiss that followed was night as careful as I remembered them being, and as my fingers twisted into his hair, he pulled me tighter. I knew that he was the one I would spend the rest of my life, and preferably longer, with. He was my past, my now, and my future. He was my everything. He would be with me forever and always, he was my eternity.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 12:

That night was the best of my life. I slept, cradled in Edward's arms, not only free of the nightmares that had haunted me since he left, but of the hole inside my chest where my heart had been. I was more than just healed; it was like there had never been a wound. Edward was back, he still loved me, and I got to be with him forever. But, of course, I wasn't living in a fairy tale, I lived in the real world- no matter how much Edward made it seem like a fairy tale. I couldn't have the "And they live happily ever after" that you read in children's books. There were still parts of my life that were not the way they were supposed to be. For one thing, Jacob. I knew that no matter what I said to, or did for , Jacob I could never make up for what I did to him. I couldn't give him the fairy-tale ending he deserved. I couldn't take away the pain that he was now surely in, even though I hadn't seen him since I told him my choice. We loved each other, I couled admit that now, but it wasn't the right kind of love and it wasn't anywhere near enough. I couldn't give myself to him completely because so much of me belonged to Edward. There was nothing I could do to change that, and truthfully, I didn't want to. Edward was who I wanted and needed to be with. If I could change one thing about my life, It wouldn't be that I hadn't meet Edward, it would be that I hadn't hurt Jacob. I was beginning to wonder if my heart was going to burst from everything I was feeling. How is it possible for one person to feel so guilty and happy and sad and horrified and terrified and estatic all at the same time? How do I get my heart back the way it was before? I wasn't sure it was possible. There was no way I could erase all the mistakes I had made, no way to go back.

I also still had Victoria to worry about, and I hadn't even told Edward. I thought it was possible he might have heard about her in Jake's thoughts, but he hadn't said anything so I assumed he hadn't. I didn't want to be the one to tell him. I knew that since he still loved me, he would put himself in danger to protect me-again. I couldn't leave, and he would find out one way or another soon enough, so I tried to summon enough courage to look at his face and say the words that would put him in danger. I took a deep breath and looked up at his angelic face. It was so beautiful it was ridiculious, and for a moment I forgot what I was going to say. Finally, I was able to force out the words;

"Edward, Victoria's back. I saw her yesterday and the pack has been protecting me, but now that everyone is back, I don't know if they still can because of the treaty." I said all this at top speed, as though hoping that saying it faster would make him less angry. But it was obvious from the look on his face that my pathetic effort at keeping him calm had done everything but. His face was absolutely murderous with rage and I stared up at him, waiting for the explosion that was sure to follow.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 13:

I got to Bella's house just as the bloodsucker did. Bella was already waiting for us outside her house and clearly didn't want us to come in. She looked determined and sad and guilty and like she really didn't want to do this. She didn't want to have to choose. That expression only made me hate the leech more. Couldn't he see that his coming back had caused her even more pain? He was sawing her in half, making her choose this way. Bella had started talking; saying how she loved us both, but she loved one of us more than the other. I had a secret joy because she was looking at Edward as she said this and I t a bubble of hope begin in my chest. She was talking about how she really didn't want to choose between us. She was crying sobbing would be a better description, and we had both tried to go to her but she had stopped us before we could take a full step in her direction. The tears were coming harder now, so hard that she couldn't speak. I could tell she was about to tell us her decision. It was finally here, the moment of truth. When there could be no going back. I was so nervous, I started to shake and was afraid if she didn't hurry I would loose control and accidentally phase. I tried to focus, but it was hard to when I was so scared. She finally regained control on herself and began to speak again.

"Jacob, I'm sorry. You've always been there for me, always. I wish I'd never met you so that this wouldn't be happening. I know I'm hurting you, and that I'm being selfish. After everything you've done for me, I should be choosing you. I love you, but it's not enough. I'm so, so sorry Jacob, more than I can say."

She had chosen the bloodsucker over me. The leech that had caused her so much agony. The pain stopped my trembling for a second and I saw Bella had sunk to the ground, unable to stand because of the force of her tears. Then I lost it. I knew that I was starting to phase, so I took off. Even though she didn't love me, I loved her and I couldn't bear to see her hurt. As soon as I was in wolf form, I really started flying. I didn't know where I was going; I didn't care. I just had to get as far away from there as possible, as fast as possible. I was replaying in my mind what had just happened over and over so it took me a bit to realize the presence of Sam and Embry, watching what had happened as though they had been there. There thoughts were so sympathetic that I could hardly stand it. Finally Sam broke the silence in our minds.

"I'm so sorry Jake. Go wherever you need to go, as long as you need to, but come back as soon as you can. Remember, we still have the Red-head one to deal with. We will be waiting for you. Let's go Embry."

"Sorry." Embry whispered before phasing back as Sam had directed. I knew that soon the entire pack would know, and I didn't want to be able to hear their thoughts when they found out. I don't think I could take their sympathy or whatever insensitive thing Leah was bound to come out with. I ran even faster so I could get far away before I phased back to human to avoid hearing them. In a few hours I thought I was somewhere in or near Canada, but I wasn't sure because I hadn't really been paying attention to where I was going. I phased back to human as I felt at least to of my brothers going wolf. They would understand why I didn't want to hear what they had to say. I came to a complete stop and sat down to think about what to do next.

Chapter 13:

The mongrel and I arrived at Bella's house at the same time. She was already waiting for us outside of her house. Her face was tear stained, and it was obvious she had been crying. She looked absolutely miserable, and I felt pain shudder through me as I realized I was the cause of her pain. I vowed right there that I would do everything I could to never see that look on her face again, especially that would never be the cause of her tears. She opened her mouth to speak, and as she did the tears began to pour again.

"First," she said, "I want you to know that I love you both." She was crying even harder, and we both started forward, but she held up her had to get us to stop.

"For this whole time, I've been thinking about both of you. When I told you earlier that I needed to think about this because I didn't know what to do, that was a lie. I'm sorry, but it was. I already knew who I would pick. I've sat on my couch trying to think of a way to do this so that nobody would go away with their heart broken, but I can't see how to do it. Part of me loves Jacob, and part of me loves Edward. But it's not an even divide; I love one of you more. The one that I pick today, when I tell you I love you, I mean it. But I also love the one that I won't pick. I'm sorry that I can only choose one of you. Believe me; if there was a way to be with you both, I would do it. There isn't though. There isn't a way that I can love you both. I hope that the one I don't choose can still be friends with me, but I understand if you can't."

I was so nervous, I knew I was going to loose it any second and fall on the ground groveling for her to forgive me. Nothing she had said had given any indication of her choice and the suspense was enough to drive me crazy. She had stopped speaking for a moment because the tears were making it impossible for her to speak. A sob wracked her body and it was all I could do to respect her wishes and stay where I was. Finally she started to speak again.

"I'm sorry, I don't want to cause either of you pain, but I can't see a way around that." I had to stop again because I was now sobbing so hard it was absolutely impossible to keep going. When I regained control of myself, I had to finish the mess I'd started.

"Jacob, I'm sorry. You've always been there for me, always. I wish I'd never met you so that this wouldn't be happening. I know I'm hurting you, and that I'm being selfish. After everything you've done for me, I should be choosing you. I love you, but it's not enough. I'm so, so sorry Jacob, more than I can say."

Relief flooded through me as I heard her speak the words I had needed to hear. Meanwhile, she had sunk to the ground because she could no longer stand with the force of her crying. I paused for just a second, then walked over to her and hesitantly put my arms around her. She didn't shake me off, so I gently picked her up and started running her inside and laid her on her bed in her room. She just sobbed, and kept until she fell asleep that night. I listened to Charlie come home, he heard her sobs, but didn't come up because he was scared by her tears. That night, she slept in my arms just like she had done so many times. I just watched her, glorying in seeing her beautiful face again; basking in the feeling of her small body next to mine. I was at peace and happy to be with her. She was everything I needed. She completed me, made me whole again.

**Hi everybody!! Thank you so much for reading my story!!! Please review and tell me what you did/did not like about it. I will be on vacation for the next three weeks, so I won't be updating, but I will as soon as I get back!! Thank you so much!!!!-Silly Milly**


	10. Chapter 10

Jacob's POV

"I'm sorry Jacob… I'm so, so sorry Jacob, more that I can say"

Bella's words kept echoing in my mind as I ran, wolf form through the woods. Sam had been tactful enough to tell the others in my pack to give me some privacy once he saw what had happened. I didn't know what to do or where to go. The one person in the world that I loved, really loved, didn't love me back. In fact, she wished she had never met me. I knew that she meant that in a good way, but I think I would have found her and fallen in love with her anyway. I wondered what she and the leech were doing now. Had the parasite told his family and were they all coming back now? If they were, I should go back, just to help my pack, but I couldn't face being in Forks right now. There were just too many memories and too much pain. I kept running for awhile before I realized that I had no idea where I was. I was lost and hungry, and most of all I was in so much agony I didn't know how I would survive. I wanted to eat, and since I had no money I would have to hunt for food. Pretty soon I caught the scent of a deer and chased after it. I caught it easily, even though I wasn't really paying attention. I ate in a daze not tasting anything, totally uninterested. I wouldn't go back, I decided. They didn't really need me. Besides, I knew I would not be able to handle seeing her again.


	11. Chapter 11

Edward's POV

Like so many nights before I was in Bella's room holding her. The difference was her crying. I had never seen her like she was now. She didn't say anything; I decided it would be better for me to wait for her to stop crying before I said anything to her. With every sob she cried, it cut me again. Not only because she was crying, but she was crying for a rival, a warewolf, another boy that she had loved.

After she fell asleep in the early hours of the morning, I wondered if I should leave again. I knew though that I couldn't. But she loved the mongrel- that much was obvious. And it was my fault that she was in such pain. If I hadn't come back, she would not be sobbing. If I hadn't left, she never would have met the other boy, Jacob Black. It is all my fault, I know this, but I can't leave. Not again.


	12. Chapter 12

Bella's POV

Edward held me while I sobbed. I cried and cried, he didn't say anything, just stroked my hair. I felt safe, whole, and, strangely, happy. At the same time though I knew I was losing Jacob. He had been my friend, my sun. He kept me sane and was really what made me feel a little happy after Edward left. I had gotten Edward back, but he had come at the price of Jacob. Not only was I losing him, but I knew Jacob must be in pain, and it was because of me. For a long, long time I lay there. I thought about all the mistakes I had made and the terrible things they had led to. I was crying for my pain at losing Jake, I was crying for the pain I knew I must have caused Jake, and what I must now be doing to Edward, sobbing about losing another boy. Oh, Edward.

Even though I could feel his strong arms around me, I still couldn't believe he was actually here. I was terrified that he might leave again, and then what would I do? I couldn't go back to Jacob. So I lay there in my angel's arms and cried until I fell asleep.

**Hi everybody!! Thanks so much for reading my story. Please review even if you hated it. I am sorry it took so long for me to get these posted, and that they are so short. The rest of the chapters will be much longer than these, but right after Bella makes her choice is such an emotional point for all three of them, so I wanted to focus on that for one chapter. The rest of the story will probably be told from Bella and Jacob's POV, no more Edward. However, I might change my mind. I hope you liked it!!!!**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 12: BPOV

I'd made my choice. Now I had to live with it. Edward was back and Jacob was gone. That fact seemed to reverberate like a matra in my head; a constant reminder of something I desperately needed to fix but didn't know how. The first par, Edward was back, always brought joy. Jacob was gone pulled down that euphoric thought like a child tugging on his mother's apron: demanding attention and refusing to be ignored or forgotten. But I don't regret my choice.

But life goes on. Just as it had when Edward had left, now that Jacob was missing it continued. He was somewhere in Northern Canada, but where exactly I didn't know.

My days began to fall into a pattern. Charlie wasn't thrilled with Edward, to put it mildly, but at least he tolerated him, even if it was with a not-quite-rude-but-not-very-polite attitude. So I woke each morning in Edward's arms, then met him at school, when I came home, he came with me and stayed until Charlie started glowering and dropping not-so-subtle hints that Edward would be, in Charlie's opinion, perfectly welcome to leave. Then I had a few hours to myself before I went to bed and Edward snuck back in through my window and I fell asleep with Edward wrapped around me. My day, like everything else, revolved around Edward.

In the hours between when Edward left and when he snuck back in, I thought about Jacob. When would he come back? Would he come back? If he did come back, assuming he would talk to me, what would I say? How does someone apologize for choosing to cause someone pain, knowing the whole time exactly how much it would hurt? That kind of wasn't a physical one. I couldn't have pointed to someplace on my body and said, "It hurts here" but it weighed down my every thought and move and obliterated every other possible emotion. And I chose to cause him that pain. Still, overall, I was content.

Hi every one. Thanks so much for reading my story. I hope to post the rest of it tomorrow. I'm very sorry that it has taken me this long to update and I hope no one has given up on me. I would also like to apologize to B. Ro 03. I accidentally used part of his/her story in mine and I want everyone to know that while it was not on purpose I am very sorry. Please read his/her story, It is called Crescent and is much, much better that mine. I'm also sorry that I don't know if B. Ro 03 is a boy or girl but that is not a very gender-specific name.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: BPOV

Tonight was a night like any other. Charlie was watching some game or another on TV and Edward was her until Charlie came and banished him with a few unsubtle comments about how late it was getting. Edward's phone rang and after sighing and rolling his eyes towards the heavens in a give me patience look, he answered.

"What Alice?" He sounded annoyed and slightly amused. As she spoke he sat up straighter and his expression tightened. He started talking so fast that it was impossible to discern anything he said. Abruptly he hung up and turned to me.

"I have to go. I'll explain later. I will come back tonight, but it'll be late so don't wait up." Then he kissed me on the lips and pulled away, as usual, when he decided I was being to enthusiastic. He smoothed my hair away from my face and my skin tingled where he touched it.

"I love you" he said, and with a final gentle kiss on my head, he flashed my favorite crooked smile and was gone.

I walked slowly into the living room just as Charlie was getting up to refill his drink.

"Where is he?" he asked gruffly, Charlie never used Edward's name if he could help it.

"Edward," I said, putting a slight emphasis on his name, "had to go. Alice called. He said he would explain later. I'm going upstairs to finish homework and go to bed early." Then I rushed upstairs before he had a chance to say anything.

Despite what Edward had said I was determined to stay awake until he got back. It was only about seven o'clock and Edward had said he wouldn't be back until very late. I'd already finished my homework so I picked up Wuthering Heights again to keep me awake until Edward came back.

About 10:00 I heard the TV turn off and I knew that Charlie would be coming to check to make sure that I was in bed. I put down my book and turned out the light before getting into bed. Just as Charlie opened my door to peek in, I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep. Hmm… I was more tired that I thought.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: BPOV

When I woke up it was morning. Edward was there, in the same cloths he had been wearing the day before and looking completely lost in thought. As I sat up he raised his head to look at me and smiled.

"What's up" I asked. I was seriously annoyed at myself for not staying awaked and that must have shown on my face because Edward chuckled once before answering.

"Everything's ok. Emmet got distracted while he was hunting yesterday and accidentally went until the wolf's land. It took awhile for everything to get smoothed over but that's fine now. Anyway that's not really important because Alice saw what Victoria has decided to do. She'll be here this tonight, about 11:30. The wolves have decided to help us get rid of her. As soon as you're ready we need to go to my house. I need to talk to Carlisle.

"What?!" I was shocked. So Victoria had decided to make her move. And Edward was going to fight her. No. Absolutely not. I could not and would not let him do that. I was not worth it. "You are going to do no such thing. I can't let any of you do that. Not for me. I'm not worth one of you getting killed." By the time I finished Edward looked more angry that I had ever seen him. He grabbed my shoulders and forced me to look him in the eye.

"Isabella Marie Swan" His words were low, terrifyingly so as he slowly accented every syllable he spoke and left no room for argument. "We WILL fight. You will be about two miles away with one of the wolves to protect you. Victoria is planning to attack our house. All of the wolves, Carlisle, Esme, Emmet, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, and I will be there to fight her. She has brought some vampires to help her, but they are new and will be easy to take care of. You sill wait. Now get ready, we need to leave."

I knew there was nothing I could do. So, meekly, I ate breakfast and got ready to leave. Charlie had told me he would be will Billy for most of the day. Edward told me to leave him a note saying I was having a girls day with Alice, didn't know when I would be back, or if I wouldn't get home until tomorrow. We left, with Edward pushing my truck's speedometer to the max the entire way to the Cullen house.

"By the way" he said while opening my door when we arrived, and, I could see deliberately trying to sound casual and indifferent, "when I say 'all the wolves' I mean all of them. Jacob's back, for the fight anyway. Apparently Sam neglected to mention he's been in Washington for awhile now."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: BPOV

I hate waiting. That's all I'd been doing since Edward brought me to his house. When we'd gotten there it will full of a nervous energy and every one, every one except me, was running around doing things to get ready. I didn't even get a chance to once again voice objections to the plan Edward had told me. So for the next several hours I sat in the living room and waited for someone, anyone. By the end I was getting so bored I don't think I would have cared if Victoria had come just to break up the monotony. When Edward finally came he whisked me here to this little tent and hadn't didn't say anything until it was time for him to leave.

For awhile, after we got here, he just stood there-staring at me. It was that stare, more than anything else, that scared me. Because that look told me what I knew Edward would never say aloud, not to me: he was scared. Scared that when he left he would not come back and therefore would not see me again. I began to tremble and just like that his arms were around me, his hands in my hair, soothing me. But I could not be soothed, not now. He picked me all the way up, bridal style, then sat down with his back against a tent wall and me on his lap. We stayed like that for a long time. Neither of us spoke; what could we say? So we just enjoyed each other and tried not to think that this might be the last time. I could see, through the tent doorway that it was getting dark. The sun set, still we did not move. I began to get chilly, but I didn't want him to get up, so I didn't say anything. It was completely dark, had been for what must have been several hours, when Edward sighed, stood up and stood me on my feet. The he held me to him, closer and tighter than he normally would have. Then he looked down at me and said the words I had been dreading.

"It's time. I have to go." Then, before I could protest to his leaving he picked me up and kissed me. Again, he was not as careful as he normally was, but that was just fine with me. After a moment or two, he pulled away and then kissed me again. It was the sweetest and gentlest of kisses. One that did not have any trace of fear in it, and then he was gone. For a moment, I thought I was alone. Then I saw and heard the wolf that Edward had told me would be protecting me. His name was Seth. I sat down again, and hugged my knees to my chest and began to wait some more.

I was week helpless, powerless to do anything but pace back and forth in this stupid little tent, worrying. I couldn't even do this alone. Seth, according to Edward, was protecting me, but I knew he was just there to baby sit me and to keep me from trying to leave the tent and find my way to the Cullen house.

Edward and the rest of the Cullens, Jacob and the other wolves were fighting Victoria. They had been for what seemed like years and the only indicator I had as to what was happening was Seth's occasional howls and yelps. Not altogether reassuring.

Finally, finally, after it began to seem that all my pacing would leave a path that could never fully be erased, I heard the sound I'd been waiting all this time for-Edward's voice.

"Bella? Are you all right?" of course, that was a foolish question. I had done nothing but pace inside this tent and wait, and aside from worrying half to death I had been fine. But now eh was back, safe and whole. He appeared in the tent flap and in one long stride closed the distance between us and I was in his arms again. I leaned into him and rested there. After a few minutes, I pulled back slightly, just enough to wee his face.

"So how is…everyone?"

He knew who I was interested in the most and his expression tightened in the pause before he answered.

"Everyone's fine and Victoria has been taken care of, but…"

"What?!" I asked, when he didn't answer, I asked again, my voice becoming shriller. "What is it Edward, tell me who's hurt!"

"Everyone's okay-it's just that Jacob's left again. He said h would be coming back soon, but that he didn't want to stay yet."

I knew that telling me this caused him nearly as much pain as it caused me to hear it so I took a deep breath and plastered what I hoped was at least a half-way convincing smile on my face and looked up at him.

"Can we go home?" I asked. I was tired and wanted to just sleep. This was stupid because the most energy draining thing I had done all day was pace, but still I was exhausted. He smiled, nodded, and scooped me up and ran with me to my truck and took me home. Charlie was not home, most likely still with Billy; I had called him while I was at the Cullen house to make sure that he had seen my note. He hadn't been home, but when I told him about my "girl's night" he said it would be very late before he got home. The last thing I remember before my eyelids fluttered closed was Edward laying me gently on the bed and kissing my head oh-so-softly.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: BPOV

I was happy. The fight was over, and Victoria was no longer a threat. Other that Jacob, there was nothing to worry about. He had left, of course, right hater the fight was over; I didn't' even get to say goodbye, let alone hello. This time he went south. He was somewhere in the south of Mexico now.

Edward, on the other had, was always with me. Except now. He conveniently remembered he had told Emmet he would go hunting with him when Alice called to tell me to meet her in Port Angeles today. She wanted to show me something. I hate surprises. I was dreading this one more than most because she wanted me to meet her-normally I would not have been allowed to drive my self. Sometimes I felt like a five year old who needed constant supervision.

I paused at a stoplight and looked down as my cell phone chirped. It was Edward making sure everything was ok. Just before I hit reply to tell him that yes I was fine so stop worrying, I looked up. Just in time to see the wildly out-of-control car careening towards me. In that second before it hit me, I knew. There was no time to react- I was going to die.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: BPOV

They say that in the instant before you die, your life flashes before you and you see all the things you did wrong, and all the things you did right. That's wrong. This is what I saw and felt and heard in the second before my death:

As if from across the largest of oceans I heard the crash. Some one was screaming, was it me? I can only see the faces of the boys that I loved swimming in front of my slowly closing eyelids .I could make no sense of what was happening. A small part of my brain registered that, strangely, I felt no pain. So this is what it felt like to die I thought in wonderment. My only regret it leaving behind those I love. It felt like I was sinking in a sea of peace, with each gentle soothing save I lost consciousness little by little. Instead of the sound of waves crashing against the sand, a voice seemed to whisper, sleep, sleep. I gave in and I thought of the boy I truly love. With the wail of a siren crying my eulogy ringing in my ears and his name on my lips, I slipped into the peaceful, easy oblivion of death.

I would like to dedicate this story to Matthew Dylan Hunter, a friend of mine who died in a car crash a few months ago. We miss you Dylan. Love you.

-C

Lots of thanks to Meghan for allowing me to talk her ear off when I didn't know what to do. Hope you don't kill me for the way I ended it. And to those of you who have r&r.


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